Thursday, January 14, 2010

What a happy marriage looks like on a bad day

Vancouver 2008 fall 013 

Here is a recent conversation I had with the love of my life:

My sweetie: “I have to run some errands be back in a while”

Me:“Hey, can you stop by the grocery store and pick up a few things?”

The love of my life: “Sure, give me the list”

My loving man runs his errands, goes to the store for me and comes home. He gives me a beautiful smelling bunch of flowers and greets me with a kiss. I go through the grocery bags. I notice he has picked up some extra items that were not on my list.

Me, in a high pitched fishwife sounding voice: “Premium plus crackers? Why didn’t you buy the whole wheat? I told you to buy russet potatoes THESE are not russet potatoes. . .  soup? What did you buy soup for? We don’t need soup. I make soup all the time. Canned soup is the most sodium filled gross, tasteless, unhealthy stuff what’s wrong with you?”

Annoyed sweetie: “I like canned soup for lunch every once in a while what is your problem?”

Me,Crazy bitch: “Nothing! I just don’t know why you can’t stick to my list and   . . .“

I know I’m being unreasonable at this point but I can’t give it up. I was irritated earlier for a number of reasons and now the whole crappy day was coming to an end right then.

Bad day = blame husband

Later, as I’m baking chocolate chip cookies (butter, sugar and more butter with a touch of chocolate chips) I continue to fume to myself as I eat a freshly baked cookie (butter, sugar, butter . . )  I can’t believe that man could bring junk food into the house; he can’t even follow a simple grocery list. It’s his fault my jeans a too tight.

The next day, I serve my small child evil, unhealthy, not wholesome homemade chicken noodle soup, but canned soup – and he eats it like candy. My sweet child slurps the soup up like it’s the most delicious thing he has ever tasted. He never eats my homemade soup like that. (Little turncoat.) On the bright side, opening a can of soup and warming it up was so EASY.

Oh no,

It’s a slippery slope. Next I will be serving frozen entrees and stop cooking from scratch completely. That can’t be good. Doesn’t that mean I’m a bad mother because I don’t always serve homemade, perfect food with a smile on my face and a frilly apron? No, I’m not crazy, it’s my bad, bad, husband.

When I was a single parent I would scoff at all those ungrateful wives. They should be so lucky to have someone else to even ATTEMPT to empty the dishwasher, cook a meal or pick up some groceries.

Bad day = ungrateful wife

Bad days happen and there was mine. How’s your week going?


  1. Well as bad days go it could have been worse. Nobody packed their bags or gave in to irreconcilable differences. But you made a good (and funny) point about how it easy it is to take the LOYL for granted.
    I swore I would never do that again after marriage #1 but every once in a while, I get a little twitchy about things he does. Why just today I got a little irked because he interrupted my online search for the perfect desk to motivate me into writing 10,000 words a day to give me his two cents worth as to style, price and delivery options, none of which I agreed with. Sigh.

  2. Such a great story and I love that photo of the two of you!! I love your blog sweet sister!!

  3. Given what it takes to make a relationship work, it's a miracle any of them survive. You're one of the few couples I know who are still together 3 years post baby!

    Tonight I found myself giving relationship advice to a young woman and stopped myself midsentence and said "I know exactly how to fix your relationship BUT I wouldn't take advice from me, if I was you, because I haven't had one that lasted more than 10 years."

  4. I can totally relate - my sweetie not only buys groceries, he is the one who also COOKS in this house!

    But every once in a while the crazy b**** in me comes out, and... hold on to your hats!

    I feel terrible afterwards - thanks for sharing your story, somehow it feels better to know I am not alone in this periodic insanity :/

  5. Awesome picture.....he won the lottery with you.


  6. What you had was not really a bad was an emotional, or pms day. Everyone suffers slightly. Kids less.
    I'm not having any bad days that way, living by myself, or with an apartment mate, or whoever is in town and needs accomodation in this fully furnished (sort of), fully equipped (sort of) side by side 5 plex.
    Bad days are when you have to medevac someone, there is blood everywhere, you have not made it to lunch and it is already 8pm and you know you have another hour or two to finish up.
    Luckily, not many of them, and this week I have not been on call, so very few.
    Call starts tonight for me, and there is a "games night" at one of the docs...bring your own glass, snacks, booze, drinks, chair and table if you have an extra.
    Ought to be fun/interesting, unless there is a birth!!

  7. Been there. Felt the same as you did about it. Have resolved myself to the fact that sometimes I am just ridiculous. I tell my sweetie that God must have blessed with physical cuteness as a foil for my sometimes fussy manner.

  8. you’re hilarious!
    i hope your husband reads your blog... so he can also giggle at being scolded for bringing home more than he was asked ~ for just being himself.
    i’m sure you made it up to him...

  9. So funny and true. I loved this. Bad day=everyone else is to blame, and it's usually whoever I love the most.

    I wanted to thank you for visiting my blog several weeks ago and I'm sorry, I think I have neglected to stop by here as I'd meant to. You have a really nice blog. Have a great weekend.


  10. You are one lucky gal Anita! My hubby likes to cook, clean and get this . . . . . . . . . . . . by me shoes!!!!!!!!! Now THAT'S a perfect marriage!

  11. oopps - I wish my spelling was perfect. How about “buy” me shoes!

  12. I can totally relate since Roger does the shopping now. I am so spoiled - and grateful for that, yet I think he sometimes buys alltogether wrong stuff. You have a great sense of humor, Anita.

  13. Anita, I can so relate to that post! It's funny how our perspective can skew everything. We get so focused on things that won't matter for eternity...A good marriage is so much more important than healthy food. I wrote a post about that--Why we should smile more at our hubbies.

    I love your funny story..we have ALL been there and done that--I'm sure!

    Love the photos...and the peek into your home life. So precious and sweet.

    :o)My hubby would NEVER in a million years..stick something extra in the bag. I have to write a list. He's terrified to buy anything.. It's so overwhelming to shop at a grocery store to him. But he loves me..and that's what matters to me.

    I feel just like hubby in the grocery store, when I have to pick up car parts for oil change supplies at Auto Zone. Totally lost! LoL!

    Cute post..:o)
    Donna @ Comin' Home